I imagine they’d get a hoot out of our explanation of Keeekball.
“Soccer (which, by the way was coined before futball, in England in the 1800s), appears to be a game where mostly pasty white guys run around in Bermuda Shorts, tee shirts and their sister’s knee socks. The objective of this sport seems to have one team try to kick a ball into shrimp seine for one point or gooooooaaaaal past a fellow who apparently buys his uniform at a different place than the rest of his teammates. The actual scoring of a gooooaaal, is however, apparently a very rare occurrence that requires one to celebrate wildly while skidding on one’s knees, which, as one would think might be hard on the knees. Apparently not. The most dangerous aspect of this sport apparently occurs when one pasty white guy with a bad haircut runs past a pasty guy in a different colored t shirt, which apparently causes a very nasty breeze that causes grievous injury to the other pasty guy. This invisible force causes a wildly gesticulating display of anguish on, not a field, but rather a pitch where the gesticulator holds a body part that has somehow become injured (but miraculously cures itself within minutes). This display may or may cause a nice man (also wearing sorts, tshirt and knee socks)with a whistle and an odd deck of playing cards to hold up one colorful card. The display of this card seems to incite the breeze causer to go into mime of Maurice Chevalier ie to hold his hands out palm up while shrugging and seemingly saying - but my gentle monsieur, moi deed no thing! The frantic running up and down said pitch for a seeming eternity may or not result in the scoring of the rare goooooaaaaal and the game or match, may or may not end with a victor. Meanwhile the scarf wearing fans are obligated to sing and often times fight, get drunk, riot and/or start fires. A grand time seems to be had by all.”