Purdue's version of the "little ball of hate". https://www.hammerandrails.com/2019/9/10/20858876/purdue-tcu-this-is-a-rivalry Ed Note: Chris lives in Texas and knows a lot about the various Texas schools. Even though we have not played TCU in 49 years and the staff of H&R is generally ambivalent to TCU, Chris has some stuff to share from his experience. Over here in the Big Ten, I know various schools love to throw around the “Little Brother” title: Michigan does it to Michigan State, for some reason that school in Bloomington who hasn’t beaten Purdue in a revenue sport in over 1,000 days tries to call Purdue one as well. But guys, let me tell you that the biggest — err littlest — little brother, maybe in the entire world, is TCU (or as they are sometimes referred to, their full name: Texas Clown University). (And no, we’re not referring to the real TCU: Teachers Credit Union.) I know most of you don’t have the “honor” of living in Texas, so you never hear about TCU, because for the most part Texas serves as a containment state to hold in all of America’s bad ideas, but as an insider, let me tell you: TCU really sucks. Let’s count the ways. Their Conference - The Big XII is the little brother of the Power Five: No TV network (oh, I’m sorry, they’ll point out that they have Longhorn Network. Imagine if Purdue was proud about, say, Ohio State having their own TV network). Their location - Fort Worth is the little brother in the “Metroplex”, the self-appointed name for the area that includes Dallas. You may think that means that only Dallas is Fort Worth’s big brother, but Fort Worth has already lost the game against Arlington (home of way more entertainment options [AT&T Stadium, Globe Life Park/Field, and Texas Live] than Fort Worth). Not only that, but they’re quickly becoming second fiddle to Frisco, which has an MLS team and minor league baseball and hockey teams. Fort Worth has... the world’s largest honky tonk? Their Fans - These are the kind of people who think Barstool is too intellectual. They’re the kind of chuds who post crap like this on Twitter: Pathetic (For the record, Toth was arrested in 2013 [nearly the last time the Horned Frogs were relevant in football] and we’re all happy to see him rot away in jail for the rest of his life irrespective of school affiliation) 4. Their Football Program - These guys STILL cry about 2014, when they beat #4 ranked Oklahoma in week 4, an Oklahoma team that ended up unranked. Then they beat #15 ranked Oklahoma State, who also ended up unranked. The Big XII itself went 2-5 in the bowl season, the worst of any conference (below the Sun Belt!) that year, yet they still think they “deserve” a chance over someone else, but not naming names (because #4 OSU won the national championship and #3 FSU was undefeated, that leaves just Bama or Oregon, both with much stronger resumes). 5. Their Football Legacy - Their claim to fame is the #6 rusher in NFL history. I guess that’s okay. It’s not the NFL’s all-time passing leader. It’s not the QB of the only perfect team in NFL history. But it’s good stuff for a school that has played in four conferences over twenty years in a desperate attempt to get people to like them. Is that enough reasons? TCU is just sad. It’s the school that pretends to be old money, but that school is over on the other side of town in SMU. Instead, it gets the Tommy Boys of the world, the nouveau-rich kids who are too afraid to go too far away from mommy and daddy. At $50,000 a year, you get a school that’s 40 spots lower on US News and World Report’s rankings than Purdue ($9,992 in-state!). You’ve probably never met a TCU grad outside of DFW, because their lack of ambition keeps them from moving out of the area. The lame “Horned Frog” isn’t even a frog! Their mascot is such a pathetic animal that it’s most famous for being able to squirt blood out of its eyes when it’s scared. And TCU, being a school that’s devoid of any culture or history, embraces it by painting their goal line red. TCU is such a little brother, nobody even notices them. In the tier of Texas Football schools, the list goes something like this: Texas A&M [yeah, I said it], who doesn’t even think about Texas, who couldn’t care any less about (instead Texas is Back meme here) Baylor, who really should be focused on other things so can’t even spend any energy thinking about TCU If we were putting other Texas schools in the hierarchy, SMU would be in Tier 3, Allen High School, home of America’s most expensive HS football stadium, is Tier 3.5. TCU is such a little brother, their fans got all in a tizzy when our compatriot Juan mis-attributed the winner of last year’s Cheez-It Bowl, a bowl game that even Golf Digest had to point out was the worst ever. TCU is such a little brother, they’ll act all mad that we’re calling them out on this, but behind closed doors be proud that finally SOMEONE is noticing them. The good news is we have a few days before a TCU alum can find someone who can read this article to them. I can’t wait until Saturday. I hope we beat them by 100.