Has anyone seen my specialty plates?

[bleedpurple]

I went into my bathroom a couple hours ago bc I heard the toilet flush but I never heard anything hit the water before hand. I walked in to find my son with his shirt off and the sleeves wet, water all over the floor, and flushed toilet paper floating in the water.

I proceed to flush the toilet, but it only filled the bowl with water. About 40 plunger punches later I still can't get it to flush. At this point I'm hotter than a road lizard when I go after my son, but he's giggling the whole time bc he thinks I'm playing chase. That only sets me off more.

I finally found him and carried him back to my bathroom. Then I sternly explain that only 3 things go down the toilet; pee, poo, and toilet paper. Then I make him back brief me.

Me: What are the 3 things that can go down the toilet?

Dalton: Ummm... Poo poo. Ummmm... Toilet paper. Ummmmmmm... GLASSES!

Purpette had to leave the room before erupting in laughter and I couldn't get a word out without my voice cracking while I was trying to act harder than woodpecker lips.

The little twerp flushed his toy safety glasses and clogged the toilet, then tried to reach his arm into the toilet to retrieve them. But I can't be mad. I just went and kissed him on the head before going to bed bc I love him so much and we laugh so hard at him. Almost 4 years in with him and I'm pretty sure this is only the tip of the iceberg.

#blessed
#dadlife

Just wait till his feet start to stink!

 

[QuilterFrawg]

When I was 5, I discovered that a can of Kiwi shoe polish fit just right in the toilet drain. Plugged it up good.

 

[DeuceBoogieNights]

I went into my bathroom a couple hours ago bc I heard the toilet flush but I never heard anything hit the water before hand. I walked in to find my son with his shirt off and the sleeves wet, water all over the floor, and flushed toilet paper floating in the water.

I proceed to flush the toilet, but it only filled the bowl with water. About 40 plunger punches later I still can't get it to flush. At this point I'm hotter than a road lizard when I go after my son, but he's giggling the whole time bc he thinks I'm playing chase. That only sets me off more.

I finally found him and carried him back to my bathroom. Then I sternly explain that only 3 things go down the toilet; pee, poo, and toilet paper. Then I make him back brief me.

Me: What are the 3 things that can go down the toilet?

Dalton: Ummm... Poo poo. Ummmm... Toilet paper. Ummmmmmm... GLASSES!

Purpette had to leave the room before erupting in laughter and I couldn't get a word out without my voice cracking while I was trying to act harder than woodpecker lips.

The little twerp flushed his toy safety glasses and clogged the toilet, then tried to reach his arm into the toilet to retrieve them. But I can't be mad. I just went and kissed him on the head before going to bed bc I love him so much and we laugh so hard at him. Almost 4 years in with him and I'm pretty sure this is only the tip of the iceberg.

#blessed
#dadlife

I've had my toilet clogged twice already by my two year old. 2 different toilets. Once was the rod thing that holds the toilet paper and another time was some plastic toy wrapper thing so I feel your pain.

 

[Land Frog]

Never could figure out why my now 13 year old would go past his bathroom, down the stairs, past the hall bath, and through the master bedroom to tell us he thought he was going to throw up.
And on a related note, why do cats only have hairballs at night?

Maybe he's just wanting you to know he's "sick" so he can stay home from school to watch TV all day. At least that's what I did.

 

[tcudoc]

I recall my parents had some friends over when I was younger. Their kids were several years younger than me and my siblings. They were likely 4 and 5 at the time. They went into my parent's bathroom when no one was watching. They took the big carpeted bath mat off the floor and crammed it into the toilet and proceeded to flush it many times, effectively flooding the bathroom. Then they left the room and didn't tell anyone. My dad hated those kids sooo much. They never got the invite over again, which was fine with me because I hated them just as much.

 

[tcudoc]

Maybe he's just wanting you to know he's "sick" so he can stay home from school to watch TV all day. At least that's what I did.

I told my 17 year old that if he needed to throw up, to at least make it to the tile in the bathroom (after he had thrown up all over his bed, comforter, and carpet). So, next time, he was feeling sick and he walked to the tile and stopped there. I said, "You were 4 feet from the toilet! Why didn't you throw up there?" He said, "You told me to throw up on the tile..."

 

[Sand Frog]

I went into my bathroom a couple hours ago bc I heard the toilet flush but I never heard anything hit the water before hand. I walked in to find my son with his shirt off and the sleeves wet, water all over the floor, and flushed toilet paper floating in the water.

I proceed to flush the toilet, but it only filled the bowl with water. About 40 plunger punches later I still can't get it to flush. At this point I'm hotter than a road lizard when I go after my son, but he's giggling the whole time bc he thinks I'm playing chase. That only sets me off more.

I finally found him and carried him back to my bathroom. Then I sternly explain that only 3 things go down the toilet; pee, poo, and toilet paper. Then I make him back brief me.

Me: What are the 3 things that can go down the toilet?

Dalton: Ummm... Poo poo. Ummmm... Toilet paper. Ummmmmmm... GLASSES!

Purpette had to leave the room before erupting in laughter and I couldn't get a word out without my voice cracking while I was trying to act harder than woodpecker lips.

The little twerp flushed his toy safety glasses and clogged the toilet, then tried to reach his arm into the toilet to retrieve them. But I can't be mad. I just went and kissed him on the head before going to bed bc I love him so much and we laugh so hard at him. Almost 4 years in with him and I'm pretty sure this is only the tip of the iceberg.

#blessed
#dadlife

I have a 3 year old boy and 5 year old girl. The girl loves snatching toys away from her brother and sending him into a fit of rage. My parents were in town a few weeks back and wanted to keep the kids during the day to spend time with them versus letting them go to daycare. So, my dad is watching the kids in the backyard play. My daughter runs over and snatches a toy from my little boy. My 3 year old picks up his baseball bat and proceeds to go to town on my daughters head until she gives the toy back. My dad yells at my son to stop and come to the back porch. His reply is NO! which seems to be his favorite word now. My dad starts to get aggravated with him and tells him to come here NOW! His reply is NO! once again. So, my dad goes into the yard to snatch his little butt up and he runs from my dad. Well, dad starts chasing him and can't catch him. My son soon thinks it's a game of chase. My mom is standing in the kitchen watching this out the window laughing hysterically. Soon my dad has to stop behind a tree to laugh so my son can't see him. Finally my mom has to go outside and get my 3 year old to put him in time out. Good times! lol

Another quick story on the boy. My wife used to always tell him one more minute or 5 more minutes before bath time, bed time, etc. Whatever she knew he wouldn't want to do. No when she says one more minutes his reply is ALL THE MINUTES! Kids! Got to love 'em!

 

[RollToad]

Rob Lowe is now the KFC Colonel.

 

[Frog-in-law1995]

Rob Lowe is now the KFC Colonel.

 

[Frog-in-law1995]

Got me through high school.

 

[tcudoc]

Rob Lowe is now the KFC Colonel.

"Rob has been called the comeback kid. No I read that wrong. Rob has come on a kid. Glad we got that out of the way."
— David Spade

 

[Purp]

I have a 3 year old boy and 5 year old girl. The girl loves snatching toys away from her brother and sending him into a fit of rage. My parents were in town a few weeks back and wanted to keep the kids during the day to spend time with them versus letting them go to daycare. So, my dad is watching the kids in the backyard play. My daughter runs over and snatches a toy from my little boy. My 3 year old picks up his baseball bat and proceeds to go to town on my daughters head until she gives the toy back. My dad yells at my son to stop and come to the back porch. His reply is NO! which seems to be his favorite word now. My dad starts to get aggravated with him and tells him to come here NOW! His reply is NO! once again. So, my dad goes into the yard to snatch his little butt up and he runs from my dad. Well, dad starts chasing him and can't catch him. My son soon thinks it's a game of chase. My mom is standing in the kitchen watching this out the window laughing hysterically. Soon my dad has to stop behind a tree to laugh so my son can't see him. Finally my mom has to go outside and get my 3 year old to put him in time out. Good times! lol

Another quick story on the boy. My wife used to always tell him one more minute or 5 more minutes before bath time, bed time, etc. Whatever she knew he wouldn't want to do. No when she says one more minutes his reply is ALL THE MINUTES! Kids! Got to love 'em!

That's awesome. He makes me laugh all the time with the stuff he says and does. He's been swinging at baseballs (wiffle balls) that I throw to him in our living room for 4-5 months now. He's gradually improved to the point I actually expect him to hit it most of the time now. A few weeks ago he was standing ready to hit with his back elbow up and that bat above his shoulder when he started digging his feet into the batters box as if he was going to get better traction on our wood floors. He's never played t-ball (will start in a couple weeks) so I can only assume he's picked it up from watching on TV or at TCU games. It's not just that he did it that made it hysterical, but the way he did it was even more funny. Just the cutest little darner ever.

 

[QuilterFrawg]

Rob Lowe is now the KFC Colonel.

Lowe's dad was in the food business and introduced the young Rob to Col. Harlan Sanders. Rob was impressed by the Col. and did these commercials as a tribute to his dad and Col. Sanders.
At least, that's the PR spin.

 

[Bonner4Prez]

 

[Peacefrog]

Lowe's dad was in the food business and introduced the young Rob to Col. Harlan Sanders. Rob was impressed by the Col. and did these commercials as a tribute to his dad and Col. Sanders.
At least, that's the PR spin.

I thought his family was in the hardware business.

 

[Ron Swanson]

WT?

 

[The Frog to be Named Later]

I thought his family was in the hardware business.

And owned a motor speedway

 

[Bonner4Prez]

 

[Peacefrog]

I have not used the ignore feature even a single time on here. Not even for the horrible baylor dorks. That changed tonight.

 

[Ron Swanson]

I have not used the ignore feature even a single time on here. Not even for the horrible baylor dorks. That changed tonight.

I had Boner4Boys on ignore for years, but it went away when the site migrated.

He's so bad still