TCU Students Only Half Interested in Opening a Good Can of Whoop [Deleted]
FORT WORTH—The TCU vs Tennessee Tech game proved to be an exciting spectacle of what one TCU student called a "good whoop [Deleted]." But despite the amount of cans of whoop [Deleted] being opened, many students lost interests after the first half.
"Don't get me wrong, I like it when the Horned Frogs win," one TCU student told
The Skiffler with a beer in his hand and some queso dip around his lips, "but when you're beating the [Deleted] out of a team like that, I reach for the remote." TCU beat Tennessee Tech 62-7, a result that was expected against the lower-division team. But to many students, putting this kind of smack down is not very entertaining. "After the first half, I left the stadium," said Kimberly, a business major who left the stadium to go watch a movie. "Winning too much is a turn off. After I saw that we were so ahead on the scoreboard, I got pissed at the Horned Frogs."
Many stadium seats were observed to be empty across the Amon Carter Stadium after the first half. According to Dr. Willy of the psychology department, had TCU opened less cans of whoop [Deleted], students would have remained in the stadium longer.
"Kids these days don't enjoy a good [Deleted] kicking," Dr. Willy told
The Skiffler. "Not like they used to in my day. Back then we used to beat the [Deleted] out of lower-division teams with pride. Hell, we would kick their asses till they ran to mommy." Dr. Willy suggests that this generation has been watered down by what he calls "cute sportsmanship policies." "These days, kids feel bad if they're that much better than the other team. It's pathetic. They rather win by an inch than by a Texas mile worth of cans of whoop [Deleted]." One Tennessee Tech fan expressed his contempt, "I don't understand. You guys [Horned Frogs] beat us up like a Mexican Piñata at a quinciañera, and people leave at half time? Sheeat!" "Hopefully this won't affect business for Cans of Whoop [Deleted]," said Mark Cannopy, an entrepreneur and market leader in the "Whoop [Deleted]" Can industry. "I'm afraid after the fans reactions to the TCU game, Football teams might hold off on some of their orders."
Concerned with how the market would react to the game, like many other business men who've made a fortune selling cans of whoop [Deleted], Mark is considering asking the government for a bailout in anticipation for a downturn. "I hope I don't go under. Things are looking grim. I hope fans will learn the entertainment value of a good whoop [Deleted] after we close up shop. Maybe then they'll miss us, and demand some good whoop [Deleted] in the future."
