• All Hail The Hypnotoad

Darius Anderson

McFroggin

ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD
So Anderson breaks in knocking her onto a staircase. He wasn’t moving fast enough to assault her on the staircase. She got up, saw a gun in the room, obtained the gun before someone with NFL speed, and then locked herself in the restroom before he could reach her. Anderson “Sprint Darter” was too slow to reach her during all of this commotion. She’s that fast. Anderson knew she had the gun and attempted to enter the restroom to assault her with gun in her hand. While the gun didn’t stop him, calling 911 prompted him to rethink his plan. Instead of physically assaulting her, he decided to mentally assault her by stealing her prized shoes.

Either the reporting is [ Finebaum ], Anderson is fat as [ Finebaum ] now, his girl has elite speed, or they are all dumbasses.
 

Eight

ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD
So Anderson breaks in knocking her onto a staircase. He wasn’t moving fast enough to assault her on the staircase. She got up, saw a gun in the room, obtained the gun before someone with NFL speed, and then locked herself in the restroom before he could reach her. Anderson “Sprint Darter” was too slow to reach her during all of this commotion. She’s that fast. Anderson knew she had the gun and attempted to enter the restroom to assault her with gun in her hand. While the gun didn’t stop him, calling 911 prompted him to rethink his plan. Instead of physically assaulting her, he decided to mentally assault her by stealing her prized shoes.

Either the reporting is [ #2020 ], Anderson is fat as [ #2020 ] now, his girl has elite speed, or they are all dumbasses.

was written by a chronicle writer so i think there is a very good chance your first closing assumption is accurate
 

Prince of Purpoole II

ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD
So Anderson breaks in knocking her onto a staircase. He wasn’t moving fast enough to assault her on the staircase. She got up, saw a gun in the room, obtained the gun before someone with NFL speed, and then locked herself in the restroom before he could reach her. Anderson “Sprint Darter” was too slow to reach her during all of this commotion. She’s that fast. Anderson knew she had the gun and attempted to enter the restroom to assault her with gun in her hand. While the gun didn’t stop him, calling 911 prompted him to rethink his plan. Instead of physically assaulting her, he decided to mentally assault her by stealing her prized shoes.

Either the reporting is [ #2020 ], Anderson is fat as [ #2020 ] now, his girl has elite speed, or they are all dumbasses.
I’ll take they are all dumbasses for $1000, Alex
 
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