QUOTE(tcugdu @ Mar 31 2010, 02:13 PM) [snapback]538680[/snapback]
Again, sorry it upset you; not my intent in any way.
I don't buy that. If it was not your intent, you would not have done it...or you would have stopped after you were called on it for being annoying the first 20 or 30 times you did it. It is your pattern. You have an inability to let a post go without a snarky response or argument over a trivial point.
Here’s what you need to do:
As your ancient ancestors have done before you, you need to embark on a [ profanity ]-quest.
Go buy yourself a sack of peyote, and I’m not talking about a small sack here, either. Go buy yourself a big F-ing sack of peyote. If you have the resourcefulness to buy a genuine authentic reproduction of a fake bloodlines helmet, then you can find a huge sack of mescaline.
Ok, now find the nearest desert and walk into it. Do not drive into it. Do not bicycle into it. Do not go by moped or hang glider. You walk your butt into that desert.
The [ profanity ]-quest has begun…
Ok, now that you are in the desert, I hope you were smart enough to bring several key items: a hammer, six feet of twine, some tweezers, a swiss army knife (without the tweezers attachment), a walkman, a magnifying glass, and a book on desert survival tactics.
You have all this stuff, you say? Good! Now start walking whatever direction seems the most awesome to you. There is no right or wrong here. You are on a [ profanity ]-quest.
Keep walking the same direction for 12 days and 12 nights without stopping for food or rest or water. After 12 days of this walking you will spot a rock outcropping in the distance that looks like a Sasquatch wrestling a dolphin (you’ll know it when you see it). Go to this rock outcropping and climb to the part where the Sasquatch is punching the dolphin in his blowhole. Crouch down in the divot that is the blowhole and make camp for the night. Build a huge fire and dance around it in a counterclockwise fashion whilst listening to Milli Vanilli’s “girl you know it’s true.” When you grow weary, take a seat at the edge of the fire and fish your peyote depot from your knapsack. Now, spread the peyote out on the earth and crush it with the palm of your hand, as your [ profanity ] ancestors did eons ago. Take this mash and shovel it into your maw. Swallow. With pride. Your [ profanity ]-quest is nearing its purpose. You will feel a warmth begin to well up from inside you. Focus on this warmth, for it is your ticket to the fabled ‘[ profanity ]-land,’ where every [ profanity ] from the dawn of time has gone at one point or another to frolick and play amongst the other douches. [Deleted] your head to the heavens, look at the western night sky. Marvel at the cosmos in all its infinite glory. Focus on the warmth…look there! What do you see! Why, it’s the Space Unicorn of legend! The very one who transports douches who are on [ profanity ] quests to [ profanity ]-land. Say hello to the Unicorn! Beckon to him. His toll is unfathomable, his price near impossible, but you stand resolute at the Sasquatch precipice. The majestic unicorn is now only feet away, and he bellows in an ancient tongue “I am here to take you to Doucheland, gdu!!! In order for me to undertake this perilous journey, I require several key items as payment!! Do you have a hammer, tweezers, six feet of twine, magnifying glass, swiss army knife without the tweezers attachment, and a book on desert survival tactics??!! You do? Well, by all means, hop on my back then! We’re going to [ profanity ]-land!!!” You must mount this steed.
Your answers lie just beyond the clouds…