Oh lord, that is a gut-wrenching post. I wonder how much a human being can go through before they become permanently broken. I too remember watching him play and thinking what an incredible athlete he was. May his soul finally be at peace.
I would say it varies from person to person and it’s not always the “usual suspects” that breaks a person. But when it happens it is the most painful thing in the world. That last sentence sounds a little weird because when you’re broken beyond repair a general numbness set in. The numbness pretty much blocks everything else out except the pain. A pain of loss, regret, what if’s, unworthiness and dejection. You still feel that pain despite the numbness.
You’re a dead man walking just waiting for the heart to stop so maybe, just maybe, there will finally be peace.