I don't know Wes is going to post all the entries,

[BABYFACE]

My Friend, Billy Clyde Puckett
by
Babyface



We made a stop in El Paso for the night. However, Billy Clyde was not ready to turn in for the evening, so he insisted we go across the border in Juarez for some entertainment. We had a few beers at the this one bar called El Gato Suave, then we proceeded to this strip joint on main drag called Perro Loca. It wasn’t long before Billy Clyde switched from beer to tequila. About a half hour into Billy Clyde’s consumption of tequila shots, he gets up from the table and stumbles over to the main stage. He pulls out a wad of one dollar bills and starts to tuck them into this hot latina’s G-string. Then it hit me. I was stunned to see this knockout of beauty dancing, reach down to grab the money with the only arm she possessed. I never had see a one arm stripper before that night. As far as one arm strippers go, she was the hottest stripper I have ever seen. I knew a “one arm bandit” is slang for a slot machine, but this stripper gave that phrase a whole new meaning.

I wake up Tuesday morning realizing that I just had one incredible dream. I am still in a daze from drinking my sorrows away from the Fiesta Bowl loss to Boise St from the previous night. This is reality rather than TCU playing Alabama for the national championship. At this moment when I get up from my hotel bed is when I see a football playing card by my pillow. I pick the card up and it is Billy Clyde Puckett on the card in his TCU uniform. The words scribbled on the back of the card in black marker read, “Next year buddy, TCU wins it all, your friend Billy Clyde.”

 

[BABYFACE]

I would like to see the rest of the non-finalists essays. Post away.

 

[pcf]

QUOTE(BABYFACE @ May 2 2010, 08:04 PM) [snapback]554541[/snapback]
At this moment when I get up from my hotel bed is when I see a football playing card by my pillow. I pick the card up and it is Billy Clyde Puckett on the card in his TCU uniform. The words scribbled on the back of the card in black marker read, “Next year buddy, TCU wins it all, your friend Billy Clyde.”


I think it might have been better if the card was slipped under your door like a hotel bill. Finding it on the pillow raises too many questions post-Brokeback. :tongue:

 

[BABYFACE]

PCF, that is just messed up. :biggrin:

 

[wes]

QUOTE(BABYFACE @ May 2 2010, 09:09 PM) [snapback]554544[/snapback]
I would like to see the rest of the non-finalists essays. Post away.



They'll all be posted.

 

[PurpleBlood87]

Mine was just an old joke retooled.

 

[FeistyFrog]

Sounds kinky....but only read the first few sentences.

 

[swimmerbabe11]

Mine wasnt very good, but I tried to name drop tcu stuff and then suck up to Coach Schlossnagle for this

QUOTE
One day, Billy Clyde Puckett and I ran into each other at Buffalo Bros. I, swimmerbabe11, your friendly neighborhood waitress was getting him a beer from our own Rahr Fort Worth Brewery, when I recognized the old star from TCU. Ol' Billy Clyde was quite pleased when I asked if it was actually him since he’s a bit older since the ‘good ol’ days’ of playing TCU Football. I asked him how life was going and if he wanted anything to eat and his response was “hell no, little lady, I just wanted a beer and to get away from the Old Lady!†Shocked, I asked why and his response was as follows “Girlie, I was about your age when I convinced her not to marry my best friend and teammate…and next thing I know, I was married to the gal myself. I been with her nearly every night and day since then. When you get to be an old coot like me, sometimes, you wanna go out by yourself, have a beer by yourself, and get asked stupid questions by some pretty little co-ed like yourself and think about the days when you were trying chase tail rather than figure out what the hell this Buffalo place or whatever it is was when you were young enough to get carded!â€



I feel like mine is shorter than others..but mine is exactly 250 words.

I am cringing now rereading my last sentence.

 

[Filling]

In keeping with the spirit of "show me yours, I'll show you mine"... :tongue:

[SIZE=12pt]One day Billy Clyde Puckett and I were sitting out on the patio of our "villa" at the Happy Landings Retirement Resort and Golf Club, just pondering things.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Billy Clyde, of course, is the semi-world famous half-back of Paschal High School, Texas Christian University, and the New York Giants football fame. I, being me, am Marvin "Shake" Tiller, of slightly less fame from the same places for the same thing, except I caught passes.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Happy Landings is one of those active retirement places. Barbara Jane Bookman found this place for the three of us. Barbara Jane passed soon after— one of those female cancer things. She went fast and kinda withered away—well, except for those silicone ta-ta's she bought for her 50th birthday. Looked brand new.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Now, "pondering" is what old people do. You can do it all day, and not get tired. Football players get old quicker than normal folks. It's all that hard hitting and hard living. Some get fat, some lame, some dumb, some all three.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Today we're pondering TCU football. Big year last year; maybe bigger this one. Record-breaking is what they're doing, even those set by the immortal Sammy Baugh. But that would be okay with Sammy, since the quarterback is a Texas boy.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt] They say it's the last year for the old stadium. They're going to tear it down and rebuild it. Make it all new. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Hope they keep some special parts. Just like Barbara Jane's.[/SIZE]

 

[Delmonico]

I'd post my entry, but frankly I don't want to embarrass those who made the Final 4 with the sheer genius of it.......

 

[oldscribe]

QUOTE(HFrog71 @ May 3 2010, 06:22 AM) [snapback]554611[/snapback]
In keeping with the spirit of "show me yours, I'll show you mine"... :tongue:

[SIZE=12pt]One day Billy Clyde Puckett and I were sitting out on the patio of our "villa" at the Happy Landings Retirement Resort and Golf Club, just pondering things.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Billy Clyde, of course, is the semi-world famous half-back of Paschal High School, Texas Christian University, and the New York Giants football fame. I, being me, am Marvin "Shake" Tiller, of slightly less fame from the same places for the same thing, except I caught passes.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Happy Landings is one of those active retirement places. Barbara Jane Bookman found this place for the three of us. Barbara Jane passed soon after— one of those female cancer things. She went fast and kinda withered away—well, except for those silicone ta-ta's she bought for her 50th birthday. Looked brand new.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Now, "pondering" is what old people do. You can do it all day, and not get tired. Football players get old quicker than normal folks. It's all that hard hitting and hard living. Some get fat, some lame, some dumb, some all three.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Today we're pondering TCU football. Big year last year; maybe bigger this one. Record-breaking is what they're doing, even those set by the immortal Sammy Baugh. But that would be okay with Sammy, since the quarterback is a Texas boy.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt] They say it's the last year for the old stadium. They're going to tear it down and rebuild it. Make it all new. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Hope they keep some special parts. Just like Barbara Jane's.[/SIZE]

I would have at least had this in the final four. Or higher, considering those that made the final four.

 

[PurpleBlood87]

QUOTE(oldscribe @ May 3 2010, 08:29 AM) [snapback]554629[/snapback]
I would have at least had this in the final four. Or higher, considering those that made the final four.

It was good. I have a feeling these judges had no idea who Billy Clyde Puckett or Shake Tiller were, and probably never lowered themselves to read a Dan Jenkins novel. Just my thought on the contest. There's nothing wrong with that, but that story was very Dan Jenkinsesque.

 

[Frognosticator]

QUOTE(HFrog71 @ May 3 2010, 06:22 AM) [snapback]554611[/snapback]
In keeping with the spirit of "show me yours, I'll show you mine"... :tongue:

[SIZE=12pt]One day Billy Clyde Puckett and I were sitting out on the patio of our "villa" at the Happy Landings Retirement Resort and Golf Club, just pondering things.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Billy Clyde, of course, is the semi-world famous half-back of Paschal High School, Texas Christian University, and the New York Giants football fame. I, being me, am Marvin "Shake" Tiller, of slightly less fame from the same places for the same thing, except I caught passes.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Happy Landings is one of those active retirement places. Barbara Jane Bookman found this place for the three of us. Barbara Jane passed soon after— one of those female cancer things. She went fast and kinda withered away—well, except for those silicone ta-ta's she bought for her 50th birthday. Looked brand new.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Now, "pondering" is what old people do. You can do it all day, and not get tired. Football players get old quicker than normal folks. It's all that hard hitting and hard living. Some get fat, some lame, some dumb, some all three.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Today we're pondering TCU football. Big year last year; maybe bigger this one. Record-breaking is what they're doing, even those set by the immortal Sammy Baugh. But that would be okay with Sammy, since the quarterback is a Texas boy.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt] They say it's the last year for the old stadium. They're going to tear it down and rebuild it. Make it all new. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Hope they keep some special parts. Just like Barbara Jane's.[/SIZE]


That was really good! I tossed an idea around in my head about the two of them sitting around talking about stuff, but I couldn't come up with anything.

I think Dan Jenkins would like to read that one.

 

[pcf]

QUOTE(PurpleBlood87 @ May 3 2010, 07:35 AM) [snapback]554637[/snapback]
It was good. I have a feeling these judges had no idea who Billy Clyde Puckett


You mean he wasn't the world's 43rd best Elvis impersonator? No wonder my story never got off the ground. I did enjoy the part where he punched Carleton Hurdle in the face at Fabulous 50's, though.