1. The KillerFrogs

COVID-19 Threads

Discussion in 'Killingsworth Court, Formerly The General Forum' started by TxFrog1999, Mar 11, 2020.

  1. I’d rather catch the virus.
     
  2. First time in history you can save humanity by doing nothing and lying in front of a TV.

    Lets not F*&k this up
     
    WIN, netty2424, YA and 4 others like this.
  3. Conveniently forgetting the % of people who have/will lost jobs/hours by doing that. Or the people who have to work harder than ever during this time. Or the people with kids who have to be entertained inside the walls.

    This is awful for a lot of people
     
    kaiser soze likes this.
  4. Currently checking my 2018 tax return....
     
    Pharm Frog likes this.
  5. I'm simultaneously trying to keep from spreading the virus while also kind of hoping that a huge part of the population already has it. It's a very odd situation.
     
  6. I did a number of Christmas reviews of these last season, between Hallmark and Netflix there were a lot to choose from, here are a few. I watched them so you don't have to:

    Holiday In The Wild: I think there was a marketing mixup somewhere. This is not a Christmas movie. At all. There's a scene in the middle that takes place during Christmas, but that's really about it. It's more an anti-Elephant-Poaching movie, but you can't call a movie "Don't shoot Elephants" and expect people to watch it for the holidays. Kristin Davis' husband leaves her literally 5 minutes after their son leaves for college (no joke, the door clicks and he's like "We gotta talk". Dude couldn't wait to get out of that relationship) so she takes their planned second honeymoon to Africa, but solo. There she meets Rob Lowe, who is a tour flight pilot that lands in the middle of the forest to report elephant poachers. That's when we find out that Davis is a former vet so she decides to stay and help, because dogs are like elephants, right? She settles in to her life in Africa, while communicating in flawless 720p with her kid, and then despite being there for MONTHS is shocked when she does receive the divorce papers that she already knew were coming. Yadda yadda yadda, she returns to her old life but ends up back in Africa with Lowe. It's fine, it's predictable, but it's not a Christmas movie.

    Santa Girl: Barry Bostwick is Santa here, reimagined as a joyless corporate CEO of a Christmas brand, planning a merger with the Frost family via the arranged marriage of his daughter Cassie to Jack Frost's son. Said daughter instead decides to go to college (what did that application look like?), where preppy jock Frost Jr is dispatched to woo her, but she ends up falling for off-brand Clueless era Breckin Meyer. This is the kind of movie that Sinbad would make in the 90's, but are direct-to-stream without the names now.

    Let it Snow: Loosely based on the short-story collection featuring John Green (they really only take Green's story, the other two aren't anything close). It's an ensemble collection of interactions all converging on a local Waffle House, including the boy in love with his tomboy best friend, a big celebrity falls in love with hometown girl, and a shockingly insensitive lesbian forgets that some people aren't out. Oh, and Joan Cusack is wrapped in tinfoil the entire movie for reasons that are never explained. Somewhere between Love Actually and Can't Hardly Wait, it's worth seeing. Kinda fun to see the guy who voices Miles in Spiderverse interact with Ned Leeds from the MCU too.

    Holly Star: A puppetteer finds herself out of a job because it's 2019 and why are those still things and holy crap how did this get greenlit? It's boring. We made it 25 minutes before turning it off. Only high point was her chugging the beer of a Portland nanobrewery where my brother works. Shout out to Bunker!

    The Knight Before Christmas - So, it's Kate and Leopold, except at Christmas. Or Les Visiteurs, if you want a deeper cut. We get some hints of Thor thrown in for good measure. They couldn't get Hugh Jackman so they settled for not-Jason-London. The weird thing is, the girl really goes along with the whole time travel thing quickly (one sentence, she buys it, they move on). They hit the beats you'd expect: He's a fish out of water but his quaint charming ways win everyone over inside of a long weekend...even when he tries to stab a teenager with a sword (he's universally lauded a hero for that), but really pretty much nothing happens in this movie. No conflict, no drama. Even the "clearly evil girl that tries to break them up" character gives up after two scenes. He just shows up, is awesome, makes some bread instead of buying rolls, happy ending. Not bad, but there's really nothing here.

    The most impressive thing about this movie is the way a guy from 700 years ago can show up and start slamming Hot cocoa and cheeseburgers. If I go to another country and aren't careful with the food, I'm out of commission for two days.

    Also, strong shoutouts / cross promotion to the previously mentioned "Stop shooting Elephants" movie that he watches on Netflix AND A Christmas Prince that apparently exists in the same universe! Very subtle, Netflix. Very subtle.

    Christmas Wishes and Miseltoe Kisses: I'm fairly certain there was a mixup in casting here, and they just went with it here because everyone was already invested in their roles (it's a little known fact that most Hallmarkers are method actors). Instead of the girl dating the cold executive but ultimately falling for the local Christmas enthusiast with a heart of gold...they do the opposite. There's a perfect guy that she goes on some dates with, literally a child cancer surgeon or something, but instead she ends up with Eric Trump. Odd choice. Anyway, I like these movies because they give us an insight in to industries that I'm totally unfamiliar with, in this case interior design. Which, best I can tell, is showing up at flea markets, grabbing a hot cocoa, and buying stuff to put in a mansion. It seems to go well though, so I'm pondering a career change. That said, I imagine actual Interior Designers view this movie the way that Lacrosse players viewed Chris Klein in American Pie. "THAT'S NOT EVEN A THING! THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS!", I can hear them yelling.
     
  7. Christmas Scavenger Hunt: Have you ever wondered what towns of 60 people do on Christmas Eve? TOWNWIDE SCAVENGER HUNTS of course....with clues written by the same people that write clues for Celebrity Jeopardy, apparently (every clue is solved immediately). Our two main characters used to date, until he left her right before they departed for college together so he could take care of his dying...uh....I think it was parents but I can't remember. She's back in town to close a real estate deal**, and they get paired together for the hunt by her father, played by a more annoying Tom Arnold (In this case played by the ACTUAL Tom Arnold, but somehow more annoying than usual) so they fall in love again. Obviously. The most frustrating part of this one is I was always under the impression that scavenger hunts were races. For a race, and one as easily as this no less, our two main characters waste A TON of time. They walk everywhere, pause for long conversations, they spend the afternoon with the one guy in town NOT partaking in said scavenger hunt, I think at one point they drive out of town, it's crazy. I was half expecting that when they finished up, MC Tom Arnold would be like "Oh, you guys? We finished like 5 hours ago and sent out a search party for you guys. Glad you're OK." Instead...they win!

    **As an aside, is there any bigger villain in Hallmark Christmas movies than condominiums? Seems every one of these involves *insert local landmark here* being torn down to put up some condos, which we just can't allow. Darn you condo owners and your desire for affordable equity in real estate. You're the real monsters.

    Picture a Perfect Christmas: A photographer visits her grandmother for Christmas, gets mixed up with a nanny, and off we go! Photographers here are portrayed as basically somewhere between rockstars and pro wrestlers, on the road 340 days a year with no time for settling down, relationships, or Christmas. It's a brutal, cutthroat game but hey, at least you get to go to *shakes magic 8-ball Hallmark destination generator*....Switzerland! Sweet! She falls for a guy that gained custody of his nephew when his brother and sister-in-law died, hence his need for the aforementioned nanny. The two leads determine pretty early on that they are supposed to be together, but she is extremely loyal to her boyfriend who the scene before she concedes has spent maybe 3 weeks together. Virtuous. Except then they break up, but the two leads still can't be together because there was still 30 minutes left in the film. She ends up back in town just in time to see the kid's play. Did she quit her job? Nope. She passed on Switzerland but, and I'm quoting directly here, "there will be other jobs". She didn't solve the life-on-the-road issue, she just postponed it a week for some Yuletide cuddles. I don't see a sequel in the making for this one, but at least they got a fun Christmas together.

    Merry and Bright: Did you know that there's a great war in the confection industry between candy canes and chocolate? Neither did I, but apparently they HATE each other and never the two shall mix. A struggling candy cane company run by Stephanie Judith Tanner brings in a corporate recovery expert to turn the business around. When they identify the issue that they are a seasonal business and like nobody eats more than 5 candy canes a year, he suggests increasing revenue, she says no, he suggests cutting costs in the manufacturing operation, she says no. So it's going pretty well, you could say. In her spare time, she bakes chocolates that everyone loves. Recovery expert points out that people eat chocolates more than 2 days out of the year, so the light bulb goes off and they make a plan to diversify their operation. She goes along with it. They impress a hedge fund manager that wants to make a major investment. Everything is going great, but then...she remembers the war. She wants to respect her Grandmother's legacy. You know, the grandmother that was an entrepreneur who started a manufacturing business as a woman in the 1950's, so clearly we were dealing with a traditionalist here. No deal, she says, she stands with the candy canes! I mean, an entire factory of workers' livelihood is on the line here but...you know, don't sell out to Big Cocoa! Instead, her plan ends up being to sell some different candy canes for Christmas (showing she doesn't really understand the whole "we need to be more than seasonal" issue), as well as on three other oddly picked holidays (Valentines Day, St Patrick's Day, and Halloween). Oh, and while this was all going on, her mother got a dog. Which frankly was a more interesting plot than the main one. It was a cute dog.
     
  8. The [ Cumbie’s red zone playcalling ] will start hitting the fan on that stuff at the first of the month when about a zillion rent payments are due. My former company had a situation a few years ago where payroll checks that were supposed to go out on a Friday had to wait until Monday for some kind of technical glitch. Don't remember the exact details and I think they may have corrected it so everything turned out ok, but you wouldn't believe the amount of people who claimed they would have been impacted by it. So many people have basically nothing saved and live literally week-to-week, month-to-month. Unfortunately their jobs are probably going to be the first to go.
     
    Horny 4 Life likes this.
  9. My SO learning the fate of her company in a meeting right now. Luckily, she has about 2 weeks of vacation and 4 weeks of earned holiday/compensation days.
     
    jack the weed likes this.
  10. This is a pretty weird thing to do, man.
     
    netty2424, YA, Moose Stuff and 8 others like this.
  11. So Hallmark Christmas movies return to show us the opposite of social distancing and reminding us what we shouldn't be doing?
     
    WIN likes this.
  12. Not quite as good as being in on 69, but ok. Called the China asshoe.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Somebody has said this to me literally every day since 1997. The streak lives.
     
    netty2424, ATC Frog and Ron Swanson like this.
  14. Kelly Loeffler is a goner. She is an "Establishment" RINO put in place by a squishy Georgia governor, when the voting base in Georgia wanted somebody else. Now, she's in a Primary race against that somebody else: Doug Collins. She wasn't liked to begin with, and this news of Plague Profiteering will harpoon her chances. Good riddance...

    Richard Burr is another "Establishment" RINO who, during the days the Senate is in session, acts as a puppet for Mark Warner. He is already bowing out of the Senate after his term expires, so he won't be around very long as it is. The Governor of North Carolina is a rat, so it is unlikely he will resign, although his RINO status makes such a move pretty much a wash.

    Funny that the name Dianne Feinstein remains in the shadows of this story. The foul witch from the Left Coast has gotten away with insider trading for a long, long time with no attention paid to her activities, and she managed to employ a Chinese spy as a driver and office manager for 15 years while she served on the Senate Intelligence Committee. She'll never suffer so much as a hangnail from simple insider trading, even Plague Profiteering. She could toss screaming babies into a blender on live TV and the Media would do nothing but compliment her form as she tosses another one in...
     

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