WhiteHispanicFrog
Curmudgeon
What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Just wondering where she is today?What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeno in your business
What does toilet paper and the Starship Enterprise have in common?Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He got stuck in the crack
Haha! It took me a minute.Guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there he is surrounded by clouds and a ladder. He sits down and waits for a while in the quiet still peace, when all of a sudden a beautiful brunette is standing next to him. She says, "Hi welcome to Heaven. There are many levels and this is the first. You can stay here with me for eternity making love or climb the ladder to success. But I must warn you, if you climb the ladder you cannot come back down."
Being a gambling man, the guy decides to take a chance. He replies, "It would be great to stay with you, but I'm climbing the ladder."
The next level an even more good looking redhead comes out of no where with the same spiel. "Stay here with me making love for eternity, or climb the ladder to success." The guy is blown away at how hot this redhead is, but he is curious. He say's, "You're beautiful, but I have to climb the ladder."
On the next level, a beautiful blonde appears. She is perfect in every way. And she says, "Stay here with me making love for eternity, or climb the ladder to success."
The guy gets greedy, and thinks to himself, if she is this much hotter than the brunette and redhead, what's next? Then says, "I'm going up the ladder."
There he is on the next level, no blonde, no brunette, no redhead... nothing, not even a ladder. He sits down and waits. Then waits some more. Then he sees a figure off in the distance. It is slowly approaching. As the figure gets closer, he sees its a man. When the man is finally next to him, the man introduces himself, "Hi, I'm Cess."
Q - Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house?A blind man walks into a bar. He didn’t see it.
McGregor sounds like he's the 12th man.I built this bar with my own two hands. But do they call me “McGregor the Bar Builder?” No!
I built that stone wall out there. Laid each stone through rain and cold. But do they call me “McGregor the Wall Builder?” No!
I built that pier! Laid it out over the raging waters plank by plank. And do they call me “McGregor the Pier Builder?!” No!
But you darn ONE goat...
I heard that one years ago as “Luigi the Bridge Builder/Architect?” and a different ending.I built this bar with my own two hands. But do they call me “McGregor the Bar Builder?” No!
I built that stone wall out there. Laid each stone through rain and cold. But do they call me “McGregor the Wall Builder?” No!
I built that pier! Laid it out over the raging waters plank by plank. And do they call me “McGregor the Pier Builder?!” No!
But you darn ONE goat...