Peacefrog
Degenerate
I just received this email from the ticket office. I don’t know if I should be concerned:
“Happy Thanksgiving, fellow Frog!
This is time of the year where we give thanks. Thanks to our family, friends, veterans, and all the faithful Frogs around the world. Our alumni are the cornerstone of the university and our athletic programs. Our successes are your successes and we can’t thank you enough. With that said, we noticed you only used three of your four seats for the last home game. Our records indicate your wife appears to have been ill. But the information we have obtained through various measures doesn’t support that claim. Her white blood cell count is normal. Temperature is within normal ranges. And you haven’t purchased any new or different medications, per our perusal of your bank and credit accounts.
Please don’t lie to us. We know she wanted to watch Hallmark Channel instead of the game. Please be advised that you and your wife both have one strike. Her for not attending. You for lying on her behalf.
We know you have children. I assume you would like them to see Christmas. Then sell your extras or good luck sleeping at night.
Two more strikes. Unless we change the rules. We might. We will. Do you know where your wife is right now? We do.
All glory to God on this holiest of days,
ATOFrog”
“Happy Thanksgiving, fellow Frog!
This is time of the year where we give thanks. Thanks to our family, friends, veterans, and all the faithful Frogs around the world. Our alumni are the cornerstone of the university and our athletic programs. Our successes are your successes and we can’t thank you enough. With that said, we noticed you only used three of your four seats for the last home game. Our records indicate your wife appears to have been ill. But the information we have obtained through various measures doesn’t support that claim. Her white blood cell count is normal. Temperature is within normal ranges. And you haven’t purchased any new or different medications, per our perusal of your bank and credit accounts.
Please don’t lie to us. We know she wanted to watch Hallmark Channel instead of the game. Please be advised that you and your wife both have one strike. Her for not attending. You for lying on her behalf.
We know you have children. I assume you would like them to see Christmas. Then sell your extras or good luck sleeping at night.
Two more strikes. Unless we change the rules. We might. We will. Do you know where your wife is right now? We do.
All glory to God on this holiest of days,
ATOFrog”