• The KillerFrogs

A joke for our time?

A man goes into a bar in Biloxi, Mississippi, and asks, "Can I have a corona and two hurricanes please?" The bartender replies, "That'll be $20.20."

iu
 

toadallytexan

ToadallyTexan
I have two candidates for worst joke of all time., but, even this board can tolerate only one of them. Both are set in a mythical abbey in East Europe.
Joke the First,
Part One:

The bell tower lacks a bell ringer, so the abbot is interviewing candidates for the position, and an armless man applies. He avers he can fill the position. The abbot says the holy order is all for employing the handicapped but can't see how this is going to work.
The man has the abbot follow him to the top of the tower whereupon he pushes the bell with his shoulder, and as it rocks away from him with a clang, the mans turns to the abbot to say, "See". However, the bell rocks back, hits the man in the face and he falls to his death below.
The abbot hurries down to a crowd of people below who ask over and over who the deceased was. The abbot replies, "I never knew his name, but his face sure rings a bell".
Part Two:
A week later, the identical twin of the unfortunate deceased (infirmities and all) appears and asks to audition for the, still vacant, position...with the same fatal results. As the abbot draws near, the crowd again seeks to know the identity of the corpse. The abbot's answer: "I don't know...but he's a dead ringer for the guy last week".
 

BrewingFrog

Was I supposed to type something here?
I have two candidates for worst joke of all time., but, even this board can tolerate only one of them. Both are set in a mythical abbey in East Europe.
Joke the First,
Part One:

The bell tower lacks a bell ringer, so the abbot is interviewing candidates for the position, and an armless man applies. He avers he can fill the position. The abbot says the holy order is all for employing the handicapped but can't see how this is going to work.
The man has the abbot follow him to the top of the tower whereupon he pushes the bell with his shoulder, and as it rocks away from him with a clang, the mans turns to the abbot to say, "See". However, the bell rocks back, hits the man in the face and he falls to his death below.
The abbot hurries down to a crowd of people below who ask over and over who the deceased was. The abbot replies, "I never knew his name, but his face sure rings a bell".
Part Two:
A week later, the identical twin of the unfortunate deceased (infirmities and all) appears and asks to audition for the, still vacant, position...with the same fatal results. As the abbot draws near, the crowd again seeks to know the identity of the corpse. The abbot's answer: "I don't know...but he's a dead ringer for the guy last week".
You are a bad, bad man. Bad...

(Secretly tipping my wineglass your way!)
 

ftwfrog

Active Member
Jimmy walks into his parents bedroom and, to his surprise, his father is on top of his mother making sweet love to her in a violent manner.
“Jimmy! What are you doing!?”
Later Jimmy’s father giggles and explains to him that his mother and him were simply wrestling and having a tickle fight.

Fast forward two hours and Jimmy’s father hears screaming from Jimmy’s bedroom. He walks in and sees Jimmy on top of his grandmother in the most inappropriate way. “Jimmy! My god what are you doing!!?”

“Yeah! It’s not so funny when it’s your mother is it!!?”

RIP Bob Epstein
 
Last edited:

Spike

Full Member
Jimmy walks into his parents bedroom and, to his surprise, his father is on top of his mother making sweet love to her in a violent manner.
“Jimmy! What are you doing!?”
Later Jimmy’s father giggles and explains to him that his mother and him were simply wrestling and having a tickle fight.

Fast forward two hours and Jimmy’s father hears screaming from Jimmy’s bedroom. He walks in and sees Jimmy on top of his grandmother in the most inappropriate way. “Jimmy! My god what are you doing!!?”

“Yeah! It’s not so funny when it’s your mother is it!!?”

RIP Bob Epstein

OMG, that's turrible
 

toadallytexan

ToadallyTexan
World's Wost Joke Candidate,
Joke the Second
An eastern European abbey, seeking to increase capital inflow conducts a survey. The results show most of the potential tourists are British.

Ergo, the abbey successfully seeks to be the region's top purveyor of fish and chips. Their renown grows, and the holy order's income increases accordingly.

One evening, just at vespers, a stranger knocks, and a holy brother answers the door to the grounds to find a smirking man who asks this question: "Say there, brother are you the famous Fish Fryer'?

The latter replied: No , I am the Chip Monk".
 

geezer

Colonel, USAF (Retired)
World's Wost Joke Candidate,
Joke the Second
An eastern European abbey, seeking to increase capital inflow conducts a survey. The results show most of the potential tourists are British.

Ergo, the abbey successfully seeks to be the region's top purveyor of fish and chips. Their renown grows, and the holy order's income increases accordingly.

One evening, just at vespers, a stranger knocks, and a holy brother answers the door to the grounds to find a smirking man who asks this question: "Say there, brother are you the famous Fish Fryer'?

The latter replied: No , I am the Chip Monk".

Please keep these jokes coming.

I have a 102-year-old friend in Rhode Island who loves jokes like the two you've posted.

They may be the "worlds' worst" to you, but he enjoys them because
he can share with them with his ancient friends since there's no reference to sex, politics, or other slippery-slope material.

If any other posters have some jokes of a similar nature, please post them so I can send them to him, too.
 

BrewingFrog

Was I supposed to type something here?
The best part of these gems is that, after I recover from reading them myself, I get to read them to poor Mrs. Brewingfrog. "Hey, honey! There's a new joke!"

"Oh dear Ghod! Another one? Why?"

As the joke is told, she slowly raises her arms, to facilitate the cradling of the head after the punch line is delivered. "Unhhhhhh..." she groans.

Even our faithful hound (not spoiled) on his couch covered his head.
 
Top