Intra-office dating

Discussion in 'Killingsworth Court, Formerly The General Forum' started by IronSkillet, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. A fictional fellow frog fan who we will henceforth refer to as "steel griddle" was asking me for advice on intra-office dating the other day. You see, he started a new job fairly recently and is now the manager of a team out of his office in Las Colinas. Managers at this office are sometimes assigned new hires for training, and in those cases they sometimes have the option to keep the trainee under their permanent direction.

    Recently griddle was asked to train a particularly promising new hire. With her impressive credentials and winning personality, griddle had to fend off a number of other managers to land her on his team. Plus she's really hot.

    Griddle and the new girl hit it off quite nicely and actually wound up staying well after closing time talking about music and assorted other astoundingly similar interests. They even agreed to some voluntary one-on-one field time over the weekend, which (while fairly unproductive) went very well.

    It was then that the new girl asked rather pointedly about Griddle's Valentine's plans. Griddle assures me that he deftly avoided the question without damaging any possibilities. It had dawned on him that he was pretty into the new girl, and that the feeling seemed mutual. However, it had also dawned on him that it might not be such a good idea to begin a romantic relationship with one of his employees, especially when he himself had barely made a dent in his office chair, being so new.

    The most surprising part in all this is that upon speaking with his multiple bosses after the weekend, he was asked how his "date" went, and if he had "closed the sale". As Griddle's close personal friend, I can tell you that's really not his M.O., but the point is that his bosses are openly joking about him dating the new girl and are on the record as being explicitly supportive of the idea.

    Still, we're not sure that it's in anyone's best interests. Under normal circumstances, the idea would be dismissed by Griddle out of hand. The thing is though, the new girl is ridiculously awesome. I mean, from what Griddle tells me, she seems like an exceptionally attractive girl. It would be a shame to pass up that opportunity in the name of something so bland as professionalism, right? Ideas? Suggestions? Stern wags of the finger? Hearty slaps on the back??

  2. Been there , done that kiddo. In my youth when I was a sales manager. I was asked to train new train them I DID! :wink::biggrin:

    Lotta fun too, a blast in fact. BUT..........wont end well, wont because it cant,

    It cant end well for several reasons. Your mind will be on her,..........instead of work. especially in that NEW relationship phase that lasts a couple weeks. If you guys have some problems it will be drug into work instead of staying after hours where it should.

    Other people in your organization will become envious of the relationship and make problems for you both at work, and with her.

    Just being honest. Recipe for disaster.
  3. True story from those days...................Gail was very different. She meant something to me, I CARED...alot, vrs... just yet another fling. This is where I learned all about endorphins and how powerful they can be.

    Within the first couple days of meeting her I decided to make my move, ask her to lunch.

    Didnt take long after being seated and soon I began to feel like Ive never felt before in my life. It was if we were the only two people in the restaurant. Like everything around us was just blurred out..........only her face, and mine. Cant even begin to describe how that felt,.........euphoric almost, being in Heaven.

    The feeling kept getting stronger and stronger as we sat there, almost like I was being overcome by it........being the brazen guy I was I couldnt help but finally say something........I said..........." do you feel that too?"

    She said......." YES I do, what is that? " Needless to say, from that point on we were in a passionate relationship.

    Have NEVER felt that sort of feeling in that strong of a way before or since.

    I often have wondered since if she was the " ONE"

    Was pretty young back then and things happen over time that eventually end a relationship. In our youth we all tend to make some pretty poor choices,...I KNOW I did.
  4. And lastly...........:biggrin:
  5. It'd probably be easier to give some advice if we had pictures...
  6. Especially of the "field work".

    Re. "advice": These things tend to go well until they go badly. Of course you being the boss you usually have the upper hand when things go south. But right there you see the problem.

    Does your workplace have a policy, BTW? That could be real impt.
  7. what NFF said...... except when they go badly, they go very, very badly......
  8. Easier to find another employee than a good chick. Agree with NFF on checking company policy and covering yourself.
  9. In spite of what his bosses said joking around, it is hard to imagine there is not some company policy either forbidding or strongly discouraging a manager dating his new hire. For one, he doesn't yet know this girl well and she could be "flirting" with him just to get the position and establish herself. He puts himself at risk for sexual harrassment claims. Pretty risky situation jobwise.
  10. He's probably a lawyer. And you know that anything goes with a lawyer. :ph34r:

    From the ABA...Not a co-worker but perhaps even worse ended up with an "admonishment"!

    An anonymous member of the South Carolina bar had an unblemished disciplinary record in 37 years of practice.

    But he has now been admonished after admittedly having a brief affair with a client's wife.

    A hearing panel of the state Commission of Lawyer Conduct dismissed an allegation that this conduct violated Rule 1.7 of the South Carolina attorney conduct rules, which addresses conflicts of interest, while nonetheless finding it "morally inappropriate and ill-advised at best." However, in an opinion yesterday, the South Carolina Supreme Court held the affair did violate the legal ethics rule.

    "Sexual involvement with the spouse of a current client, while not expressly proscribed by the language of our Rules of Professional Conduct, unquestionably has the propensity to compromise the most sacred of professional relationships: that between an attorney and his or her client," the court writes. "Attorneys who engage in a sexual relationship with their client's spouse do so at their professional peril.

    "Consequently, this Court alerts the bar, in addition to admonishing respondent, that a sexual relationship with the spouse of a current client is a per se violation of Rule 1.7," the opinion continues, "as it creates the significant risk that the representation of the client will be limited by the personal interests of the attorney."

    The affair came to the attention of the attorney disciplinary authorities after the woman's husband found out and complained, according to the court's opinion.

  11. On my mobile, but someone needs to link that SNL commercial "red flag".
  12. I met my wife at work...worked for me.
  13. Can work. Some of the most productive academic/research situations with great outcomes I've ever seen are couples where a grad student got involved with a prof. Some of the worst, ugliest, awful academic/research situations with hideous career-ending outcomes I've ever seen were couples where a grad student got involved with a prof.
  14. We were iin different lines of buisiness but working at the same firm...

    My brother-in-law met his wife a work also. See might have been in marketing or something at the time and he was in sales...
  16. Met mine at a bar..and she hasn't had 10 drinks in 30 years. She was only a JR in college.
    While you can't avoid the natural attraction I never saw any good come our of anyone ever mixing their bread and meat.

    I'm sure there are lots of exceptions depending on your job levels, chain of command and size of ...........

    your office. [​IMG]

  17. Can one of the other managers who fought to get her on their team originally take her on now? I think you really want to avoid the superior/underling office relationship. That's where you get the potential for sexual harassment claims if things, heaven forbid, should go bad. Good luck, Steel Skillet!!
  18. Yeah, there's no way you'd want her to be professionally under you if you want her to be physically under you. And when I say 'you' I mean that in the plural second-person sense, of course ...
  19. I met my wife after giving a morning rounds talk on intestinal worms. Ascaris and you shall receive, I suppose...
  20. That probably kills at the practice Christmas party ...

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